someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
