walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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