Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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