I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
