If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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