Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
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