I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
When are your genitals available?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
