OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
