no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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