a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
