I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
