eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
