i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
this just has baby written all over it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
