So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
