I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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