is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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