its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
