he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
