Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
