no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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