i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
