I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
