He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
