i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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