my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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