You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
