After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
