We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My life is pants optional.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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