I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
