you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
