I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
