Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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