grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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