I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
