i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
