My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
