White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
