i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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