Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dear god my vagina.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
