you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
