And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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