No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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