Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
