You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
