We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
