I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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