Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My vagina is officially offended.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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