so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
