My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
