carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
