honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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