Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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