what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
