i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
