There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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