Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
